In Search of Wit...

Why does one turn skeptical? The general belief has it that people who can't achieve something turn against it and console themselves by negating the need of that thing:

GB Shaw said:

"Those who can, Do; Those who can't, Teach."

Not very far from reality. You give it your best shot and you fail. Either because it is a conspiracy against you (so you would like to believe) or your best was not good enough. And then comes the time to find someone to put the blame on. For, things that don't have a conscience, eventually become the poor victims of our critique. And to what objective, just to prove that they are not worth all the efforts invested in them.

The fun however is to have wit. A sense of humor, in order to detach yourself from the evaluation of a situation. You can't do it doesn't mean that no one else should ever try it either. Or that you should yourself never try it again. I tried my hand at a semi-porn fantasy somewhere in this blog and it was appreciated by a handful, though dismissed straightaway by most of my friends who believe I should invest my time in something more meaningful rather than wasting my talent in this apparently useless art of eroticism.

Alexander Pope says in his "Essay on Criticism",

In the search of wit these(poets) lose their common sense,
And then turn critics in their own defense.


Something that should be avoided as far as possible. Because the actual realization of your efforts is in analyzing why you went wrong, rather than dwelling upon self pity and effacement. You can turn on something as easily as cleaning you bowels when the pressure is great but the real test of character is in holding it back, hanging in there.


So the cowardly remarks like "There is whole world lying in front of you, forget about it." should be pro-actively discouraged and you should stick to your gun. You never know when you might fire that perfect shot. It's worth spending the whole life in trying to reach that perfect shot. No one and nothing is more important than that perfect shot of yours that is still there in your head and hasn't transcended into the physical world yet.

Roots In Kashmir

Hi All,

Please join hands with us:

Be Creative - Be Alive!

This article was published in my company magazine as an Editor's Note in the March edition. So kindly ignore the references made to Pramati (which is my company).

Opportunity is missed by most because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work.
Thomas Alva Edison

I must say opportunity is just a point of view. Some people are able to see it and some are not.

Welcome all of you to this second edition of Plugin. And thanks for such an overwhelming response! (That was sarcasm for all you naive ones.) It is surprising that we did not receive even a handful of entries in spite of all the promises made by you guys. And it was very disheartening. A magazine that was supposed to be published monthly had to be reduced to a bi-monthly volume.

Many thanks to the selected few who did contribute and encouraged us to bring out another edition of this magazine. In this space of last issue I shared with you an example of how important creativity is in our lives. This time I would like to take it a little further.

What defines creativity? Creativity is not like an exotic pet that only a few can afford in their lives. It is a medium of expression that everybody has an access to but very few care to venture into.

Who can be creative? Well there is usually a wrong notion stating that people who have nothing meaningful to do can devote time to creating some vague work of art. I strongly condemn this notion. I believe, people who are passionate about life only can be creative. Any form of art has the ability to let a person explore his/her inner feelings, values, emotions etc.

How to be creative? To be creative you just need to have conviction. And challenge everybody else's conviction, in your mind. Say, you could draw a scenary and paint an ocean yellow. Just because you want to see a yellow ocean. At such a situation, you tend to think how the other's will take your creation. Which kills your creativity. If you want your ocean yellow, just paint it yellow. It is as simple as that.

Why be creative? Because there is no other way to justify your existence. Just think, what do you do in your daily life, that the rest of the world doesn't do. If you could count something that nobody else does in this world, you existence is justified. If not, then NOW is the right time to start.

If you care to share, the world is waiting to listen to you.

My Book Of Questions - 3

Conflicts:

The biggest battle of all is the one we fight with our own conscience and yet we are moved the most by the trivial conflicts outside of us. Like: Whether to go for that tempting bachelor's party for the third time in the week or not? Whether to ask that calipygian colleague out for a coffee? Whether to tell your parents that you may not be able to visit them this summer since you are camping out with your gang-of-bikers?

An insurmountable challenge is to debate on a dilemma within yourself, with the full knowledge of both the sides of the argument. Whether to be honest or resort to dishonesty when under threat? Whether to stand firm and true to your principles or to compromise with a few to get around a situation? Whether to keep your word or break it if it seems an easy way out of your problems?

These battles are never ending. And the decisions we take make us what we become.

Why then do we care about the external conflicts so much?

Can't we simply focus on our internal conflicts and let the external ones settle out on their own?

Kashmir Dichotomy!

Why is it such a big problem for Indian Government to resolve the Kashmir Issue? Or for that matter, for anyone who is concerned with the cause, viz. Kashmiri pundits, Kashmir Muslims and Pakistan. The answer is the dichotomy in the approach to solve the problem.

One side of the picture, which is visible to the world, is the rightful ownership of the geographical paradise, which is Kashmir. Graced with the natural beauty, enhanced by the climatic ambiance and abundance of natural resources, makes it a great place to live and work in. Any human being in his right mind would want to inhabit such a serene and enthrallingly romantic place. And owing to its breathtaking scenery and historic heritage, it becomes a hot tourist spot as well, translating into accretion of foreign currency. Therefore, making it a lucrative job to govern the valley, for any administrative body. Anybody who rules Kashmir will no doubt be generating a huge revenue through tourism.

Also, it doesn't take an economist of the caliber of Amartya Sen, to figure out that any eco-friendly industry (apart from tourism) will be an ideal way to rejuvenate the sinking lifestyle of the inhabitants of Kashmir. The first and foremost example being the IT industry. There is a tremendous shortage of high-earning jobs in the valley of Kashmir, and the moment a Software Technology Park opens up in Srinagar or around it, in no time the focus of the wayward youth of Kashmir will be diverted towards the avenues of wealth generation instead of focusing on violent entanglements which are brought about by sheer idleness of mind.

The point is, if it sounds so simple, then why hasn't this solution been implemented so far? Why would the Government of India not take the needed steps towards these apparently easy way to the betterment of the state of affairs in the valley. This question now brings us to understanding the other side of the picture.

What could be the reason, that no government in last 60 years has been effective in finding a solution for the Kashmir problem? Why not take the route of industrialization, modernization of the valley if it can bring this perpetual problem to an end?

Based on the Indian political scenario, the only thing that comes to mind is that maybe the people who are ruling the country are not qualified enough or are deprived of the common sense, to look at the straightforward and amicable solutions. I would say, people who are in fact ruling a huge nation of diverse demographics, can't be so dumb as not to know what can bring this absolutely unproductive turmoil in the Valley of Kashmir to an end.

The dichotomy as I suggested in the very first paragraph of this article, is the need of the politicians to have some soft issues to arouse the nation's sympathies and achieve electoral victory. If there is a complete social harmony and no communal or extremist violence in the country, and if we focus on technological advancements and economic growth of our country, it render our politicians incapable of these petty thefts, by which they fill their Swiss banks accounts. Those in power, no matter how they got their, want to take the opportunity ensure a financial stability for their next ten generations to come. And they believe they can't achieve all that if they really work for the betterment of the country.

The politicians of our country, generally suffering from myopic vision, have consistently failed to see the long term benefits of engaging in healthy practices of managing the resources of our country, which can bring us at par with the countries like US and UK and can in turn improve their (politicians') standard of life too. Instead they have spent their lifetimes manipulating the major portion of our population, that is still illiterate, into believing that they are the only hope for the underprivileged. They have been twisting and bending the laws and constitution of our country to their own benefits such as burying their criminal past under the complicated intricacies of the law and generating new opportunities to commit more crimes. And they have consistently been acquiring wealth as if there was no tomorrow.And we, the citizens of India are to be blamed for giving such parasites the responsibility to run our country.

We need to understand that, for them Kashmir is not about the sentiments of the people who are the integral part of the history and geography of the Valley, it's not about bringing a status-quo, it's not even about providing a better platform for the citizens of this country to flourish on; it is just a matter of keeping some burning issues alive (like Gujarat, North-East, Reservations etc.) to keep their votebanks. So that they can get reelected to the same position and continue conning the certain segments of the people of our country as well as the whole world that we are abreast with the developed nations, and the credit goes to our most able leaders, when internally we all know that we are rotting because of the inadequate administration and governance.

The icing on the cake is the fact that now even some Kashmiri pundits have joined the rat race to gain political control over the Valley and are demanding a separate state, which they claim is the right solution to the problem. Kashmiri pundits, who are not even 10% of the population of the Valley claim themselves as representing the entire state and being capable of governing it independently. This is a stark indication of the politicization of a sensitive issue of reinstating harmony in a disturbed state. And as long as the unreasonable greed of these corrupted human beings is not satiated, we will never be able to achieve a good solution to this problem.

In my view, the only good solution to the problem is the end of political propaganda, which has been carried on, on the expense of innocent Kashmiris, who could never understand that they were always being used for a cause that had nothing to do with the improvement of their lives. And a more vigilant involvement on our part, in exercising our rights of choosing the right people to lead our country.

My Book Of Questions - 2

Compromise:

We have to live with so many compromises that it sometimes make me wonder how much of compromise are we really capable of? I look around and see so many imperfections, so many voids left to be filled with something meanigful and yet nothing arrives to fill in that gap of absolute absurdity. And most of the times it fills me with anger, because there is nothing I can do, or probably nothing that I want to do about it. Yet I feel that someone should do something about it. And that in turn adds to my frustration.

Why is it that so many things in our lives are left wanton?

What is it that drives us in spite of knowing that most of the things that we worry about may never really happen?

My Book of Questions -1

Relationship:

Being lonely really teaches you how to be in touch with yourself, so much so that you almost lose contact with the world outside you. You exist and that existence is so loud that you can’t hear anything else but yourself. There are merits and demerits of being aware of yourself, or in other words being self-conscious. You have to learn to accept yourself as you are because there is no way you can break up with yourself. It’s not like a relationship with a physically separated entity that you can snap out of when you don’t see any benefits of continuing it. It is a hard and naked truth that you have to live with. And there is no estrangement possible; no matter how hard you try. You are completely exposed to the weaknesses of your person and still you are not able to break up. I think that is the most difficult relationship to maintain. The one with yourself!

Why then is it so easy to breakup with another person you are in relationship with, just because he/she does not fit all your requirements?

Is it fair to expect high from a relationship? Is it fair to want things that you may not be able to compensate for?

The Pledge

In my schooling days, we had a pledge that used to be imposed on us by our worthy educators, and we (although not to question our patriotism) always loathed the morning half an hour of assembly which was meant to be a mass communion; praising our Forefathers, Gods, Leaders of our country and all that exists apart from them. At that time it did not make much sense as to why we were put through this meaningless routine, day after day, each day for bloody 12 huge years of our lives.

I am sorry but I don't remember a word of that pledge!

But today, the way our Nation is going the days are not far when following will be the pledge of the Nation and kids will love to say it every morning religiously:

"India is my country, that is until I appear for my GRE and GMAT. Indians are my brothers and sisters and I am quite uncomforable with the fact that one day I would have to marry one of my own sisters.

I love my country, because I know that when you love something you should let it go....and all that blah blah...

I try very hard to feel proud of its rich and varied heritage that historians say there was until Moughals followed by Britishers followed by Politicians screwed it up.

I shall always strive to be worthy of it but I guess there is only 5% probability that I will ever attain that worthiness cause there are already 25% OBC candidates who are worthy of it, and another 20% SC candidates followed by 5% ST and another 35% Handicapped, Sports Person, Terrorist affected, Minority Community and under poverty line candidates who are worthy of it.

I shall give respect to my parents if they respect my boundaries and don't push me to be what they want me to be; to the teachers if they can make me understand why they have been teaching the same syllabii for last 30 years; and elders if they don't come in my way, and treat everyone with courtesy if I have time for that.

To my country and my people, I pledge my soul but not as long as it resides in my body.

In their wellbeing and prosperity alone, lies my happiness but I have learnt to find ways to keep myself happy otherwise also.

Jai Hind"

Life Unexplained

Blasted by the Nature's wit,

I am aghast'ed,

Flabbergasted,

Exhausted.

Overwhelmed by my own existence.

With a panic and sustained persistence,

I try to analyze,

Prioritize,

Optimize.

Never asked for a silver spoon,

Didn't care for curse or boon.

The rituals of life,

I kept performing,

Reforming,

Deforming.

Licking up my own wounds,

To the music of life did I always swoon,

Making way where there wasn't any

Gave my love when 'had no penny,

I kept striving,

Driving,

Surviving.

Torn down by disappointments,

Never found a road, with lesser bends,

Making mends,

Following Trends,

On the path of life,

I did Mature,

Endure,

Secure.

Experimented with love and lust.

With broken heart and dying trust,

I moved ahead with a greater thrust,

Never accepting defeat, in this contest,

They asked me to lay down,

And I Protest,

Transgressed,

My Conquest.

But when I peek into my past

No memories are left that will last,

I am standing alone in my history galore,

And the waves of memory,

Never reach the shore,

Life tends to be meaningless,

Such a whore!

And I think, And I think, And I think,

Not a blink,

And I sink,And I Sink, And I Sink.

Fantasies of a Lazy Ass

How many times has it happened I can't even remember. Saturday morning arrives and I am lying in my bed oblivion to the constant, indefatigable movement of the hands of my wall clock. It strikes 7:00, 8:00, 9:00 and so on...without any visible effect on me. And yet it doesn't give up. I am lying there, half asleep half faking it, in a make believe Eutopia of my own, where I will never have to wake up to the lonely walls of my bedroom and would instead be greeted by the flower gralands studded blondes, wearing see-through scarfs as a substitute for skirts and thick wavy hair blobs acting as the natural bikini tops, covering there cute little bosoms waiting to be nibbled by my...."TTTTTTRRRRRRRRRRRRIIIIIIIIIIIINGGGGGGGGGGGGG!"

Good Morning, Hyderabad! It is 6:30 am, headlines for the moment. 82nd Pleanry Session of Congress begins today...blah blah. India vz. Pakistan second test match to be started today at Faislabad..blah blah. And here goes nothing.

It is 6:30, I have a cricket match to play. Before that, I have to reach there on time. Before that I have to call up my friend who is going to pick me up on his way to the ground. Before that I have to wake up completely and get freshened and make myself presentable...Umm! Aactually just ready-for-cricket kinda presentable...you see. Well, you won't be taken seriously committed to the game if you appear in a half asleep state and that is the last thing I want, to be taken lightly. I don't know why but I hate it when people take me lightly, I guess that is some psychological condition, like self-obsession or something, but I don't care.

And the day starts with a 5 hour physical exertion...Don't ask me the result of the match because it is not about the match I am writing. It's about me. And I was happy to have spent those hours with some really committed guys trying to satiate their desires of playing for India in the National Cricket team. Well, they could have made it, almost, if they had not chosen to be in the IT industry. But that is again irrelevant. I come home after 5 hours of run-for-your-life madness on the cricket ground and there it starts again, my fantasy. This milky white skinned babe, wearing the scarf and her hair covering her supple breasts, only that this time it is a brunette well I don't mind actually, asks me to take off my t-shirt and lie on my belly, as she is here to massage my back and relieve me off my fatigue.

I was gleaming with pleasure; sometimes the anticipation of an event is more pleasurable than the actual occurance of the event itself. I took my t-shirt off with a masquiline jerk and yet complying with the sensuality of the moment (at the same time ignoring that deplorable tyre of fat which I proudly call my waist and the gynacomastic chest which would have put any woman to shame in a different world), made my movements in a more dignified and subtle manner. Looking in the eyes of that beautiful sculpture of a woman whose eyes had promised me more than just massage. And then all of a sudden she jerks her hair back in a motion more graceful than the amble of a cheetah. And approaches me with lustful eyes and her hand is about to rest on my shoulder, as I can breath her fragrance. That soft milky cushion of her palm touches my shoulder blade and suddenly....BRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR....BRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR...

Damn !!! The house maid, all charged up to finish the cleaning in yet another record time and full of impatience as it is noontime and yet she has to ring the bell 5 times before I answer the door. And that concludes my massage session for the day. I am all up and ready to take a quick shower and get ready for the rest of the day when I realize that I could actually realize a part of my dream. The sparkle in my eye, on that thought, was brighter than a million dollar diamond. And in five minutes I was in the reclining chair of this barber shop around the corner, having my bones crunched by the massager. He was doing his best to make sure he earned a tip today, and I with my eyes closed was enjoying the climax of my encounter with my dream masseuse, ocassionaly interrupted by the jerks and sounds of nitrogen pops in the different joints of my body.

Finally, I realized the power of imaginative thinking...