One must always speak one's heart!

Is that really a good idea? I often ask myself, and immediately get a reply,"Get real, dude!"

Well, many times I have to stop myself from uttering that swear word as a retaliation to some unwanted stimulus. And every time I manage to do that, I cause my guts to come boiling to my mouth and then go back down to where they belong, in the process setting everything on fire inside. I tell you, it's not that nice really! $*&#$@. The involuntary exposure of your palate to the acrid bile juices can be pyschologically disorienting.

However, there are those soft moments when you can't also afford to unleash the beast within. As the chinese proverb appropriately says,"Patience in a moment of anger can save you a 100 years of misery." which is in fact very accurate. Some years back such a fit of rage had nearly cost me my neck (metaphorically speaking; literally it was my job). Yet, there are times, when you gotta let it out. Otherwise, it can wreck you.

Now the question is how to decide when it should stay within and when it should come out?

Over the past four years, I have undergone one helluva of catharsis. And it was a one multilayered, multidimensional and multifaceted catharsis. I transformed from an enthusiastic young boy to a grave adult; from a "bursting-with-enthusiasm" engineer to a seasoned professional; from a romantic to a skeptic; from a dreamer to a doer; from a thinker to a philosopher; and to sum it all up from sublime to ridiculous. Well, why I say that is because as long as you are the part of the Universe and you don't question your existence, you can live happily with what you are. But when you start questioning your existence, it is a whole new ball game.

Whenever there is a challenge, there is a conflict and whenever there is a conflict you are affected. So, it is quite natural to be overwhelmed by strong emotions and that is usually when the conflict is multiplied because now you are not only bothered about the original conflict but also by the conflict of how you should react. And the most important factor in deciding how you should react is, what is your position in this situation. What role are you playing int he conflict? Are you the source of the conflict or are you the victim? Or worse yet, are you a mere audience?