Column: Benedict who is basically Charu Lochan!

Those of you have been regular readers or have at least read the last few posts would know that a few weeks back my wife and I had an animal encounter. A stray cat that opted for a career switch and took up the offer of becoming our pet for a day. And as much as it was a disappointment that the cat went away the next day, it was a relief too that I would not have to be responsible for any mess it created in the neighborhood. However, that was not to be, as our masquerading Puss-In-Boots had returned after exploring other options in the neighborhood for a couple of days.

It was quite a surprise when I opened the door in the morning two days later to find the cat waiting outside. I could see it was hungry and hesitant to ask for food, probably because it was feeling embarrassed for having rudely rejected our offer the day before. For me, it was a time to display my graciousness by offering food and shelter to this cat who apparently needed food more than shelter as we realized later. Rashmi was filled with joy and excitement; she was already planning to set up a litter-box in the balcony, despite the "No-Pets" policy at our apartment complex. However, as we have spent time with this grey-blue feline, we have understood the independent nature of their species a little better. And also we have seen how they like to keep their ablutions a private affair, especially if they haven't been trained by humans. Don't tell on us, but we haven't been cleaning up after our cat. If we can call it our cat.

Yes! This right here is Benedict, who is basically Charu Lochan, our adopted but not legally so cat. As you can see, he likes to sleep with his eyes open and fist drawn, giving out a Bond like aura. As if you could hear him muttering in his sleep,"...the name is Bond, James Bond!"

It is hard to imagine that a cat could have the intelligence of a 2 year old. You sometimes get to see that happening in some remote corner of this world on a YouTube video with 434,345 views and 12,234 comments. And you are not sure if the video is doctored or real. But to have such an experience first hand is quite a unique experience. I don't think I could be as excited about my own kid learning to walk and talk, that is when I have one, as I am to see a non-human display such vital signs of intelligence that we humans have so arrogantly assumed to be our species' patent. What I am referring to his this cat's ability to acknowledge basic commands like, "Stop clawing the carpet, now!" Of course that is not how I say it, in fact it just comes out like a big "Noooooooooooooo!", which automatically conveys the message. And you can see the cat retreat from whatever it is doing at that time. I know, it is not as marvelous as it sounds, but still to have someone listen to your command and obey, especially when it doesn't even have to comply to the intra-species obligation of understanding the commands. That is intelligence!!!

I have picked up a few things in last three weeks like how to tease the cat into having a fit of excitement in which all it wants to do is claw and bite. Of course playfully! And before PETA comes after me, let me make it clear, I am not causing any psychological or physical harm to the cat. By the way, I had a narrow escape the other day; I almost had my hand bitten, of course because of my own fault. The cat was excited and clawing the claw-mat I was teasing it with. And I tried to pet it, in an attempt to calm it down when it expressed its displeasure. Thanks to Caesar Milan, from whose videos I have learned how excitement can be eased into "calm-submission".

However, Benedict aka Charu Lochan is a gentleman and very chauvinistic in its approach. He is a cool cat and the only thing that makes his hair stand up straight is traveling in the car. We have tried twice to take it for a ride, without success. We have already given up on that for now, until we can build more trust with him and it has realized that a red Eagle Vision is not a monster waiting to gobble it up.

As I am writing this post, he is curled up next to me on a small red foot mat at the entrance of our kitchen. That is its favorite spot, because that is where he can see my wife and I for most part of the day. And I am begining to feel that this post is turning into a boring ramble so I am going to call it quits for now. I have lost track of what I originally had in mind as I have written this post over a span of 10 hours, with three breaks in between.

So, until next time, adios! And stay tuned to learn more about the adventures of Benedict.

Rememberance: Mr. Nagarjuna Ganju - An Exemplary Life!

In profound grief I drank my cup of tea last evening. Rashmi told me that Mr. Nagarjuna Ganju had passed away. It was an instant shock. A sense of bereavement encompassed me and my wife as we sat there in silence, interrupted by her occasional muttering and intermittent sorrowful sobs.

In that moment of numbness, my mind posed a question. Who is Mr. Nagarjuna Ganju? or Who was Mr. Nagarjuna Ganju? I couldn't retrieve the memory of a face related to that name. Yet, I knew I had known this person for a long time. I had heard his name directly or in an indirect reference somewhere or the other; quite often. How was it possible that I was feeling a sense of loss for a person whom I had apparently never met in person? And while I was trying not to pose an insensitive question to her, my wife relieved me of my dilemma and guilt. All she had to say was "KPJobs".

Mr. Ganjoo's was the name that I had always read of in the emails that were exchanged over the Yahoo groups. Kashmiri Interchange, KPJobs, AIKS and what not? Slowly, my head was flooded with all the memories of mails that I had read either from or about Mr. Ganju. I could recall the initiatives and activities towards which he had contributed. And then came the realization. That that chapter had come to an end.

Those regular emails that originated from the Inbox of Mr.Ganju and went out to so many needy young and old Kashmiri Pandit community members on a regular basis, informing them about a job here or an admission there, would no longer be there. A fellow community member, whom we had learned to trust, love and respect (despite our egregious social behavior) was no longer going to be available with his valuable advice and counsel. That an unsung hero, who showed us new ways of salvaging ourselves, had departed. Oh God! What a loss? It takes a lot of good luck to have people like Nag Ji live and share their lives with us. And our luck had run out.

Let me ask this again. Who was Mr. Nagarjuna Ganju? And what my mind tells me is that he was an example of noble life. A binding force for a perpetually multi-polar community. He was the hope that our identity as a society couldn't disappear, until there were people like him. He was a constant that people like me, who have not experienced Kashmir but have observed the volatility of being Kashmiri Pandit, can hang on to.

It has been such a painful experience learning about that fateful accident that took Mr. Ganju away from his family and from all of us. A wrongful death is very hard to condole in itself and there is no compensation for the loss that we have incurred as a community. I personally feel very much in debt of Mr. Ganju for his kindness and unconditional love. My wife and I could do nothing much except sulk about our helplessness.

Alas! In death, there is nothing one can do except for offering a prayer. And we pray that "May your journey hereafter be that of bliss and harmony." Our hearts go out to Mrs. Ganju and kids, who will now have to learn to live with the void that you have left behind, dear Nag ji.

In the end, the only thing I hope for is that may Nag Ji's life inspire us to be like him and follow the path of kindness.

Rashmi and I are going to miss you badly, Nag ji!

Column: Marley and Me - Pet Catharsis

It wasn't a very bright day yesterday. Especially because my wife and I were not looking eye-to-eye for some difference of opinion on a matter of principle. No! This is not a post about what we were fighting about or how we resolved it. So take it easy.

As the day ended, I decided to burn all the negative energy in the gym and spent an hour on cardio. It felt very refreshing and I could once again admire the beauty of life. Apparently, my wife chose to take the cue from my workout session and went for a long walk herself, only to return with what I can call the best animal experience I have had until today. She had found a stray cat and decided to lead it to our home, as it appeared to be famished. It turned out that she was correct in her evaluation, the cat was able to gobble up 100 ml of milk and a large potato fry followed by some 20 gm of minced lamb and felt all happy and gay afterward.

Now, I don't call it the best experience just because I had found a fellow gobbler in another specie (for those who don't know, I can eat a substantial amount of food in one sitting), it was because the cat appeared to be not that much of a stray. The nicely groomed fur, friendly nature and good manners were quite an evidence that the cat had probably lost its way on one of its adventurous prowls. It responded quite well to commands meant to keep it in discipline, at the same time it was happy to be around us and be naughty.

The best part was my wife and I were instantly able to forget the difference of opinion we were observing for last 24 hours and had our attention completely focused on this cute little meddler.

For the first time I realized what a therapeutic effect a pet can bring about. I have never been in favor of having pets, primarily because for most part of my life I have been scared of dogs and secondarily, I don't like to be committed to taking care of something that can't survive on its own. However, yesterday I realized the message conveyed in the movie Marley & Me that a life can be enriched by having a pet around. I believe one can achieve catharsis by owning a pet that doesn't mind to play by the rules set by you. Also, it gets your mind off the stress you observe in your personal and/or professional life and subsequently enables you to focus on brighter things in life.

The cat, however, decided not to stay with us, as it was too impatient to sit back and sleep easy for the night. And since our apartment complex has a "No Pets" policy, we decided to leave the cat outside our apartment so that it was free to chose its way. The good thing is that the cat had finished all the food and water we had left outside for it; the bad thing is it was no longer there when my wife went to check on it this morning.

In a strange way that it happened, I believe the cat was a cosmic intervention in our lives, especially mine (my wife loves pets and has had them since childhood) to let us know what we need to fill our lives with constant love and companionship; a friendly pet.

Even when the two intelligent human beings with the most advanced communication skills and capable brains can't make the sense out of each other, an intellectually less capable pet can go a long way to bring some sense, in its mute and playful ways.

Column: Lacking Depth of Knowledge!

There are two things I am trying to achieve from this post, first I am trying to drop all pretense and write about myself, my life and things that matter to me, the way they matter to me. Second, I want to be able to spill my guts more often than like once in a millennium.

I was recently, heck today, told that I lack depth in my understanding of certain things. It was being implied that I only have the partial knowledge of "How?" and no clue of "Why?".

Well, I was pissed as I usually get when I am told that I lack anything, even if it is something as natural as absence of fully functional mammary glands. I mean even though I am the male of my species, and was not designed to have them, you better not tell me that. I am more likely to get offended for your pointing it out than appreciating the fact that you can distinguish between the males and females of my species.

Anyway, as pissed as I was, I also felt a deeper sense of relief for being told that. No matter, how angry I am right now and how much I hate the guts of a roadkill, I know it from inside that whatever it was that was pointed out, was true. In all senses of the word. However, the rationalization that my mind draws to compensate for the feeling of humiliation, inadequacy and incompetence is: "damn the circumstances in which I grew up." As if I was born to a farmer living off his two acres of land near the Line of Control separating Pakistan Occupied Kashmir from India owned Kashmir.

The relief that I felt for was - I feel it more burdensome to have people believe that I am greater than I am. But then, making it clear that I am not greater than I am, I feel very bad that I am not. You see! That is the paradox. I mean I want to be great. And I want people to think I am great. However, I know I am not great. Though I can imitate greatness by keeping the pretense, I get tired of keeping the pretense eventually. And then people automatically realize that I am not great. So, it is better not to pretend to be great. And then when you are not great and nobody thinks you great, you end up being ordinary. And it is very hard to be ordinary when you want to be great and you are not great.

The biggest fear in my mind is to have to accept a defeat and then never be able to draw enough strength to fight back. That is the reason I keep telling myself that it's not me, it's them. How convenient and rejuvenating such a feeling is, when you are assured of the fact that whatever wrong there is in this world, it is with the others.

I am brooding right now with the realization that I lack something but at the same time I am telling them to "Go to hell..., I will continue as it is." The only thing I lack is advertisements.